To Camron

This is something that i thought when we lost camron but was never able to write it for some reason, (probably because i couldn't get through thinking it without crying) but it's something that i don't ever want to forget so i decided to post it today........

To Camron

On december 23 i heard a voice say to me, it's here, the dream you waited for , and on january 3 a home test said it's true, a big positive said i had been blessed with you, and just to be sure on January 12 a doctor confirmed that the home test was correct and so was that voice i heard, and so i fell in love with you, i hoped and i dreamed for you, all before even seeing your face. Then i heard your heart beat and that made you all the more real. I smiled , my heart smiled my soul smiled, But on april 14 2009 my womb opened and a voice said "daughter it's time" He is much too perfect for this earth , so 5months early to you i gave birth. And as i held you, i cried, hoping that my tears could be your water of life, and as i cried i breathed, i breathed so deeply because not only was i breathing for me, but for you, hoping if it was deep enough and long enough that i could give you the breath of life, that if i just kept breathing that eventually i would see the rise and fall of your tiny chest and that if i cried hard enough my cries would be your cries, and that you would would come back to me. But you didn't, you couldn't. So now i sit and think of you, i think of all the hopes and dreams that i had for you. I sit and i think of how i'd fallen in love before even seeing your face, i think of the first time i heard your heart beat, i sit and think of how it felt holding you in the palm of my hand, and though you are gone from this earth you will never be forgotten. You will always be my first born. You will always be loved. You will always be mine. My camron.

I love you.