Monday, October 8, 2012

I know I know it's been a while since I've written anything and I wish I could say that this was gonna be a post about jace and how he's grown and all the wonderful things he's doing. But it's not. Tonight is about thinking that you aren't as affected by this journey as you once were, that sad as it is, you are a pro at this and you have it under control that you will handle things better than you did when it was fresh, and then out of nowhere it hits you and you're in pieces again like you were the first and or second time. Tonight as I held my rainbow in my arms a picture of me holding and saying goodbye to my second angel popped up in my head. Next month will make 3yrs in heaven and I miss her like it was only yesterday that held her and cried and told her goodbye.

I miss her, I wish she and all of them could be here with me. My heart is full and it's heavy and I don't know what to do at this moment except let the tears flow..............

I love and miss you Xavien so very much.