Thursday, March 29, 2012

Special Delivery!

Well I figured that it's been long enough and about time ( before I forget ) to write the story of Jace's arrival.

I'd like to say that it started off as a nice normal day. But if you know me and how things usually go for me, you know that well this day started off nothing like normal. As a matter of fact we can go back to the night before. That night ( Tuesday night that is) I had a dream that I was bleeding, and not like light spotting, but no this was like heavy, cycle time bleeding ( scary I know) but I actually woke up that morning still feeling and telling myself that everything would be okay. Well imagine my surprise and almost panic, when I went to the rest room and saw a couple of drops of blood. Amazingly I still didn't' let it get to me, I'd just had my baby shower a few days ago and I had been moving around quite a bit there and also getting his room ready, so I figured I just needed to put my feet up. Well I put my feet up for a bit. I got to the bathroom and again there was blood, so I say well maybe I didn't' sit long enough. So I contemplate whether or not to call my doctors office, well I go to the restroom again and this time there is more blood ( this was about 1 p.m) and there's some gooey stuff with it ( sorry for the TMI) , so then I began to worry juuuuust a bit and I call my doctors office. Well guess what! This all happened on a Wednesday which means my doctor is not at her office but at the hospital doing surgeries , but her secretary calls her for me and she tells me to come to the hospital and go straight to LnD. So I get dressed and make my way there. I get to the hospital, they put me on monitors to make sure I'm not having any contractions and while they do that I also wait to get an u/s. Well turns out I am having small contractions, but I don't feel anything and I only know it cause they are showing up on the monitor and the nurse is asking me " do you feel that?" and I'm like "no", but at this point they aren't close together at all. Dr. V comes in to visit and tells me that I've been having small contractions and to let me know that she is keeping me over night just in case anything happens and lets me know she will come back to see me after the u/s. Well after a few hours the u/s tech comes up and does the ultrasound. She then says to me " your cervix has funneled" and I say as tears start to flow "from the top and bottom?" She says " Just at the top" . Cue tears because yes I'm emotional and well I felt like this shouldn't be happening, but hey there's nothing I can do. Well I figured I'd better start making some calls cause well looks like this is a lil more serious than I thought it would be. So I call some family and a couple of friends. Well after a bit Doctor V comes back in and tells me that she thinks I'm in pre-term labor ( oh joy right, not). So they hook me up to magnesium to try and stop the contractions and tells me that she will give 2 hours and if the contractions don't stop by then, well we will be having a baby. Well instead of stopping the contractions got stronger, and stronger and closer together. When they began to come 7 to 8 minutes apart I began to feel them, and I mean really feel them. And then they became five minutes apart and I really started to feel them then. So nurses are monitoring me and my pastor's wife is in the room with me timing the contractions and just when I thought the magnesium was working, on came the BIG contractions and I mean BIG! Big and long. Well I get a big one and I began to feel pressure between my legs so I ask S ( my pastor's wife, my other one mom as I like to call her, but we will just say S for now) to tell the nurse what I'm feeling. Well she tells me it's normal, but I'm getting frustrated because she's not understanding my situation, that I have a TAC and there should be nothing going on ( at least I thought) in the va jay jay area. Well as she's acting all nonchalant about it and is resetting the magnesium I have another HUGE contraction and my water breaks and as my water breaks I cry, I cry and I cry and I cry and as the nurses try to prep me for surgery they are trying to calming down because I was crying so hard my stomach and chest were going up and down I mean I was sobbing! I felt bad for the nurses trying to prep me but I couldn't stop. This is not how this was supposed to go! Hubby is in Kuwait ! I still have two months well like one and a half , before his arrival, but nope here we were 8 weeks early . So they finally prep me take me into the OR give me a spinal got me numb cut me open and after a little bit ( they had a hard time getting him out because he was breech and didn't' have a lot of room inside) finally they got him out ! My poor baby's leg was bruised upon pulling him out because if was so tight ( so I guess it was time for him to come on out). So March 14, 2012 @ 9:21 p.m ( or 21:22 p.m in military time ) Jace Jesiah Bob made his debut into the world. If took him a minute to cry and I held my breath until he did. And when he cried, I cried and S cried! It was one of the most beautiful moments in life for me. His cry was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. I thank God for that cry, for this baby for this blessing for my miracle!

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Got Milk?

This girl does! ( i know i know, this post is rather up beat compared to yesterdays, but hey such is my life, up some down some so hey) And though not plenty of it at the moment, but I'm working on it. And yes I'm talking about breast milk. The one thing my body seems to allow me to do right, well somewhat right, almost right, pretty darn close to right. But then again since this is new territory for me ( the last three times it came in, my only mission was figuring out how to dry it up) maybe it is going right. It actually came in about 4 or 5 days after jace was born. I couldn't give it to him right off though because while in the hospital I ran a few fevers so as a precaution for his help they told me to pump and dump. So let's just say he only got a little bit of colostrum, but he's mainly gotten milk. But hey it's the least I can do feel involved during his visit at casa del NICU. At this point I haven't even gotten one ounce or if so it's right at one ounce. Most of the time it's about a half to a little over a half of an ounce, and so far lefty is the leader at producing which makes me nervous because I don't want to eventually be lopsided. Also, I must say pumping HURTS! Well at least it did. I've gotten used to it and have learned what level is comfortable to me. It's hard for me to believe that when the time comes that Jace's little mouth will be more powerful than the pump. But I will will myself to keep at it. I want to give him my best and hopefully my body will cooperate. So if any of you out there have any pumping advice I'd love to hear it. Oh and just in case you need to know I use the Madella Pump in Style advanced ( don't know if that matters or not, but just in case it does.)

Friday, March 23, 2012


This is hard. There are no other words to describe the feeling of having to leave your little one at the hospital. It hurts to know that even though I have made it further than I have in any other pregnancy, that with reinforcement my body failed in allowing me to get to full term. Don't get me wrong I am very thankful that I made it to and beyond viability. I am beyond thankful that I made it to 32 weeks. But I am sad. Sad that i couldn't make it further. Sad that though I know with all my heart that he will get to come home, that I every evening since getting discharged have to leave the hospital with empty arms and come home to an empty house, a house with just me and my thoughts and feeling that I wish I didn't have. I wish that I could just be joyful in this whole thing I wish that hurt and sadness didn't creep up. I wish that I could just rejoice through it all, because I know the God I serve. The God I serve allowed me to carry my baby boy 32 weeks. He allowed him to live. He has allowed him to progress well, he has answered my every prayer concerning my son while he's in the NICU, the God I serve has surrounded my baby with nurses who I think love him just as much as I do (well not as much as me, but close to it), who give me details beyond what I ask, who allow me a lil more privileges than others probably get. So why am I crying. Because this is hard. But as I type and my tears dry I am thankful, thankful that I am in love with a beautiful baby boy who is the spitting image of his dad, who is alert, oh so lovable and most importantly mine. The sweetest gift that God could ever give me. So Even though this is hard and at times tears flow I will think of these things.

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Yes he has a name ;)

I guess in all the excitement I forgot a to add an important detail. His name! LoL! Yes he has one. We named our little prince:

Jace Jesiah Bob

Sorry for the late response and I guess one of these days I will buckle down and actually right his birth story ( which I can hopefully get through without crying) and catch of on some blog reading. I love you all and thank you for your love and support.

Loving my Four!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Say Hello

I certainly didn't think that this would be my next post, but here I am, not even sure how or where to begin. Wednesday was supposed to be a post of baby shower pics, but as usual for me well things didn't go as planned. Instead I am here to announce that Wednesday March 14 @ 9:22 pm I gave birth via c-section to a 3 pound 5.6 ounce baby boy. I am still in dis belief myself, but he is here, is gorgeous and he has stolen my heart even more now that I see him on the outside. Part of me wishes that he were still on the inside growing and thriving where he is supposed to be, and the other part of me knows that it was just time. There were so many signs ( that i may post about another day), but it is still so surreal. He is in the NICU and doing great. He has been breathing on his own since friday and continues to do so. He has also been tolerating his feedings very well. I finally made it home yesterday and I must say that I am beat. I am pumping until he is able to come home so I am still waking up as if he is here as they want me to pump every 2 to 3 hours to keep my supply up and so far so good. I want to thank everyone for your love and and prayers and texts and emails. I wish I could express what it truly means to me. I love you all and I truly mean that. And before I start babbling I will end here and leave you with a picture of the little one that has stolen my heart:

Monday, March 12, 2012

Doc Appointment and a Shower

Well I had an ob appointment on Friday ( march 9) which went great. Baby J is looking good in all areas (fluid, growth, and heart rate). I havent' gained any weight since my last appointment which was Feb. 24. But all in all things are looking good. He changed from a head down position to what she called transverse ( i think that's how she said it) so I guess it's safe to say he's still got some wiggle room in there. Which I really don't have to guess because I feel and see it everyday. And have mentioned how I just love love love to feel him and see him make waves across my belly. If not , then let me say I REally do Love it! Oh and one more awesome change, my C-Section date has been pushed back, and that's okay because that means he will be born on my birthday and what better gift can one get!

My Baby Shower was Saturday March 10. I am still in awe ( I seem to use that word a lot lately) that I made it to this point. I was in awe of making it to a point of even talking about a shower, let alone having one. But I did and it was great. And I must say that I had a wonderful time. The day started of a little dreary for me because the weather really sucked it rained the whole weekend and I had a lot of people call and cancel the morning and the day before. But then I sucked it up and was determined to enjoy myself no matter what. Those who really cared and mattered would come and those that didn't oh well. So I cheered myself up and got ready. We ate, talked played games and I opened gifts. I must say that it was a great day and that Baby J is so loved already and I can only imagine how it will be when he gets here. He got so many things and I'm just thankful that we were on so many peoples minds. I also want to thank those that I know were there in spirit. Those that I know if you could have come you would have and for me even knowing that I thank you. I also want to thank Nan, Deni and Andrea for the Changing table and accessories that they sent me. You all just made my day and I love you your angels and your rainbows so very much. Also a friend of hubby and I sent us our crib. Everyone has just blessed us so and I am ever so greatful. Baby j got so many wonderful things.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Playing Catch Up

Wow, I have gone from slacking in my blogging to full out neglect. lol I fully intended to at least blog once a week, but hey guess that just didn't happen like I planned. So here I am playing catch up. So I guess we can start with week 29

Wk 29
Was an nice week, minus the guy who rear ended me and fled the scene. Thankfully baby j and I are fine. And thankfully that his car got most of the damage. But that still left me a little angry. Still trying to get over it. I had my one hour glucose test, which I passed ! Thank goodness because that stuff was super nasty and it took everything I had in me to drink it and keep it down. ( though I must say I gagged every other swallow. ) I also had a doc appointment which went great. Dr. V estimated him at weighing 2lbs and 13oz , his fluid level and heart rate were both good. She gave me a c-sec date of April 30 so it won't be too long before I am saying hello to my sweet baby boy. Can you say excited!

Wk 30

Was pretty uneventful. The energy I had in the second trimester has now left the building. I fine myself taking more naps than I did in the first trimester. LoL I find myself laying around a little longer in the mornings. Even though I'm awake way early I usually don't actually get up until and hour after waking.

And here I am now at week 31 ! Yep 31 weeks! And yes like always I am super excited! It's a little well no a lot harder to get up and go potty at night but I've mastered this little rocking move that helps with that. And speaking of going potty I am now back to going about 3 to four times a night. I also think that I've been getting braxton hicks at night but not sure. I do know that this little boy loves to ball up in the right side of my stomach, which has seemed to be his favorite spot since I've been able to feel him move. And the greatest mild stone ( at least for me anyway) has been SEEING HIM MOVE FROM THE OUTSIDE ! Yes it looks a little weird but I love it. I already love feeling him move and I now get to see him move. And I must say I love it. I know that I always mention it in just about every post, but I am thankful. I've never made it this far. Heck I've never made it past 19wks so to be here to experience all the things that I had hoped to experience with my angels is just such a blessing to me. No everything is not fun , like kicks to the vagina or being out of breath among a few other things, but I wouldn't trade these moments for anything. I think about my angels and how I wished I would have got this chance with them and I think I will always feel this way. But I know they are looking down on their little brother and that makes me smile. I have an Ob appointment this Friday. I can't wait to see him on the screen and see his little heart beat.

Thank you God for this blessing. Thank you that he is healthy and strong and developing as he should. Thank you that my cervix is holding strong. Still long and closed. And most of all thank you for all the small moments that make such big wonderful memories.

Forever Loving my Angels.

Yes I know this is a week late but here it is anyway Me at 30 wks!