Thursday, December 10, 2009

The Checkup

So today i took the drive that i have been so nervous about. My two week checkup. So off to the doctor i went, not realizing how nervous about it i actually was . I had to turn around once b/c my mind was raceing with so many thoughts i missed my exit, then i almost missed the turn to the doctors office. But i mad it on time. So i walk inside sign in, sit down and wait to be called. I want to thank everyone for your prayers, god really had his ears opened b/c even though there were others there, it wasn't that many and only a few of them had bellies and if the others were pg, they were not showing yet. So i sit and wait and write a little bit, trying not to look to my left or my right. My husband sits quietly beside watching tv, which thank god again b/c it was a talkshow on and not on a baby channell that offices sometimes play.Finally we are called to the back, my weight and vitals are taken and then we are sent to a room to wait on the doctor. If i wasn't nervous i don't know what i was. Well finally the doctor comes in and asks me what happened, i think he was just as surprised that i miscarried as i was when it happened, but he actually did the last thing i expected him to do...... he apologized, he actually said he was sorry and actually looked as though he meant it, he actually told me that he had misjudged, that he had went by the text book, which says that an incompatent cervix is not really declared until after a minimum of 2 miscarriages (which i think really sucks that one has to go through that much pain before a diagnosis is truly declared) So he examines me and lets me know that everything is well and he also talks to us a little more giving us some info and also talking to us about a plan for the next time, and eventhough his apologizing wont bring my beautiful angel back, it stilled eased my heart a bit to know that he was concerned and actually cared. So again i thank you all for your prayers and i thank god for listening, because today i have a renewed since of hope. and as long as i have hope everything else will come. So today i end this sending HUGE amounts of HOPE and LOVE to you all. As long as we have that, we all will weather this storm togeather.


The Blue Sparrow said...

YAY! Praise God for this! Im so glad that your visit was at least somewhat bearable and went smoothly. *HUGS*

Andrea said...

Hello Sunshine...

You remain a ray of sunshine through the storm :) Your faith amazes me and the fact that you can forgive your Dr's poor judgement is beyond words. I only pray that your Doctor takes the knowledge he gleaned on your case and uses it to spare another patient this pain. Your angel is making a mark on this world already honey.

My heart aches for you and having to hear those words "I made a mistake". I feel that God must have given you peace in that moment.

Know that I love you and am so sorry you are in this place again. I'm wrapping my arms around you right now. Know that I won't ever desert you on this journey...we started it together and we will end it together...with Earthly Babies in our Arms...and heavenly angels in our hearts.

Love and prayers,
Andrea xoxo

DeniFay said...

Hello sweet angel friend! So glad there were so many positives with your visit! God does listen, knows what we can handle and answers! Love to you!!! Hugs and wishing for our earthly babies!! Deni

klarsen said...

That is wonderful, Shandrea. You are right, God does answer prayers. xxx

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