Sunday, August 1, 2010

Frustrations

Today at church my pastor talked about frustration. And of course this is something that we've all felt. The frustration that my won't work normally, the frustration of deciding whether or not to try again, the frustration of trying again, the frustration of that darned 2ww, the frustrations of getting a BFN, the frustrations of getting a BFP, and so on and so on.
But today he said something to make me think. well at first it made me happy but then of course my new norm is to sometimes over think things, thus forming this post to get these thoughts out of my head. He said and I quote

"your blessings are buried on the other side of your frustrations" "you have to keep pushing through to the otherside."

he also said

"all your frustrations in life are laying the foundation for a new level in your life"

"let your frustrations be your stepping stone for where God is trying to take you in your life"

and at first thought i thought wow , how true, i mean there has to be a reward somewhere in all this madness i mean i can't be going through what i'm going through for nothing. which i totally still believe, but then of course there's that flesh in me that is wondering , how much further will i have to keep pushing. I'm getting tired and i'm getting weak and i'm getting more frustrated! But God is good, because he reminds me that yes when it's just me, i going to get tired, i'm going to get weak, i'm going to get more frustrated, BUT! I don't have to worry, because i'm not alone, he is with me, he is my strength and when i can't go on he is there to lift me, to push me to guide me. It dawned on me how many times i've had someone tell me that God is about to do something in my life, or tell someone else that God is about to do something in theres. and i wait and i wonder and i wait some more while wondering well when is he gonna do it, i've been waiting and so far i've had nothing but hurt and heart ache, but then i sat and i thought and i thought some more. Who says he hasn't already begun. Who says that he isn't doing anything now. It's so crazy. Today we live in a microwave world, we are so used to having what we want, when we want it. We are used to having progress with the second, minute or day. We forget that to God 1, 000 years could be oneday in his timing. We expect God to just hand us what we want or need right then and there. We don't expect to go through anything to obtain anything, We think that we ask God for it and BAM! He's just supposed to give it to us. But today i've realized that yes it hurts and yes what i'm going through is hard and yes i want to scream to the top of my lungs sometimes, but i'm not gonna give up i will push through my frustrations, I will get to my blessing, I may get weary , i may even break sometimes, but i am not gonna stop because i want what God has for me. As it says in
Psalm37:4 Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
I want that. I mean who doesn't want the desires of their heart . So i will continue to hold to him, i will continue to delight myself in him. I will continue to hold fast. Because God is truly able.


Proverbs 13:12 says it best
Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.


So i continue to hope, i continue to beleive , i continue to hold on as best i can
and

I will continue
Loving My Angels

4 comments:

Sarita Boyette said...

I am so sorry for your loss - how great a loss it is to have nurtured three babies and watched them return to Heaven.
Please email me if you would like me to make little memory tags for your babies. There is no charge at all.
Hugs, Sarita
sboyette@tx.rr.com

klarsen said...

Our sermon was on patience yesterday and it seems I have had a lot of reminders on patience lately. Sarah waited 90 years for God to fulfill His promise of Isaac. 90 years. I can't imagine. You are always in my prayers and in my heart I truly do believe that God has something truly amazing in store for you. Something none of us can even imagine. I can't wait to see what it is. Love you. xoxo

Andrea said...

So incredibly true! I too have been struggeling with frusteration, which is so hard to navigate. The journey does bring with it many emotions and for me, frusteration is the greatest. However, as you say, who doesn't want the desires of the heart? We all do, but we must realize the virtue of perseverance and the purpose of FAITH and TRUST in him :)

Sending you love as you enter this new day and praying its filled with sunshine.

xoxoxo

Lori said...

Always sending you love!

Post a Comment