Yesterday (aug 6) and today have been good days for me. I might could even say great. I smiled and i was happy. I am so full with the wonderment (hope that's how you spell it, geesh i hope it's a real word, but anywho) of what God is doing for me i don't know where to begin. Let's see, let me start with Friday. I texts from my Fab girls which always puts a smile on my face and brings me comfort. My day started with noon prayer at my church (which i so desperately needed). It was awesome. I got to cry out before God from my heart. Yes i can do this at home, which at times I do. But it wasn't just about me, it was about the needs of others, and for a reason i can't explain it felt good. It was just a nice release. You all were in my heart, I may not have been ablel to name names but I know God heard me and i know that he knew too;o)
That night kicked off our annual women's conference. The speaker was awesome. Just awesome! God really used her. She acknowledged the fact that not all babies get to go home with there families. That sometimes they don' t make it and how we often wonder why. Then and there i knew that word was for me. But sometimes God doesn't give us the why. His thinking is above our own. But we are appointed for purpose we have purpose. There are lessons in the suffering. (not just this situation but other situations that she talked about as well) One of them she touched on is patience. She talked about Hannah praying to God for a son. She talked about how Hannah told God that she would give the child back to him. Can you see how AWESOME God is! He heard my cries. He spoke to me. She also asked, what are we willing to give up. She talked about how we want everything instantly and on our time instead of waiting on God!
She then went on talking about other hardships and sufferings in our lives. She told her story of being raped by a family member, of wanting to take her own life. But God! He saved her. and though it took time. He healed her. I wish i could type the whole story because it is an amazin one. But the moral of her talk was that, to be healed from past hurts, to forgive others for wrongs done, to get you through, to bring you comfort, there is but one name to call on and that name is JESUS! Yes that one name is so powerful, able to do all.
I just loved it, because she touched on a lot of things that i had been thinking and feeling. In that moment i learned to just listen to God. I learned that i don't need that validation that i sometimes look for to make sure it's God, because i already know. His word is good enough, more than good enough really.
It was even more amazing because in attendance that night was a pg woman who looked to be just a month or two of where i should be now and normally i would have fallen to pieces and left out crying before the service even began. But i didn't . I was able to focus on God. Think on his promises and i made it through. and it felt good.
Last night I knew that i am on my way to healing. I claimed my healing. I know that it will still hurt at times but I am getting there and that felt good. I also thought of many of you. especially Angie ( one of our Fab 5) I know that she is hurting so much now, but I know that it's gonna get better for her. I know that God is with her. Angie know that you are prayed for.
Then this morning we had our second day of the conference. It was awesome. One speaker touched on something that stuck with me.
She said that there is a difference between a hurt and a wound. A hurt is like a scrape or cut. we can put a bandaid on it and just wait for it to hea. But a wouldn is deep. It takes time and care to heal. You have to tend to it daily. Clean it out and dress it.
It made me think of this community of BLM's. We often speak of being hurt and heartbroken, but we are more than that. We are wounded and it's gonna take time for us to heal. So to heck with the time that the world thinks we should be " Over it" . and we will never be over it, but we can get through and we can live and we can hope. The only one that matters in telling us that time is God and when that time comes he will do it. and of course there is but one cure and his name is Jesus.
2Sam22:7 In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried to my God: and he did hear my voice out of his temple, and my cry did enter into his ears.
I love the LORD, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications.
Loving my Angels