Friday, December 2, 2011

Time Flies

We often hear or use the expression " Time Flies when you're having fun"

But I've learned over the past 2 and a half almost 3 years that this statement is not always true. In 2009 when I first experience the loss of a child. Time still flew. I mean yes I was still in greif, stuck there hurt broken and reliving many painful moments. But time still moved on. I mean here I was myself stuck in a moment, but time still sped by. The comfort I got from others in the beginning was gone after only weeks. It seemed as people forgot or just chose not to acknowledge what had happend and In that misery before even completely getting over or through that, It happened again and again I was frozen in my pain, but.....time still moved on. I couldn't truly feel as if time had slowed because there was so much around me changing, so many people moving on, many giving me advice I wasn't ready to hear or probably didn't even want to hear because they felt I had been in a place long enough.

And here I am again, at a moment in life that I am feeling so hopeful and thinking will time still continue to fly, will it go even faster now that I'm having fun, or will it just this once slow down and let me enjoy this ride? Will I enjoy this ride? Can I enjoy this ride?

Or should I hope that time continues to move at this speed? I mean after all I will be 18 weeks monday and though I'm very hopeful and believe that I will get to bring this sweet boy home alive and healthy and in my arms , there is part of me that wants this coming week to speed by. There is part of me that is ready to to get to 24wks already, there is part of me that wants to get to 30 weeks already, but the truth is, time goes at it's own pace, the pace that God has set forth and no matter what I say or do the time will move as it will. I just have to do my best to make the best of the time I have, to enjoy it , to hold to my peace , my hope and my faith.

And though time doesn't stand still I can hold on to the memories that are dear to me and the lessons I've learned.

Phil 4:6-7
Be anxious for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.


Dawn said...

That verse is my life verse. I turn to it often when I need to be reminded that God is in control & no matter how anxious I get, it will not change the outcome. I pray that you are soon able to enjoy every second of this pregnancy & hit each milestone w/more joy & peace. God bless.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I know that for me, when I am reading the post of a BLM who are having their Rainbow babies I want time to fly quickly. I want nothing more than to have your baby born and in your arms. I know that this journey is extremely hard for you and I often hold my breath wanting each post to be good news.

Deni said...

Great post! Praying you can enjoy it as it flies by and you get that precious, so loved, immensely prayed for boy home safe and sound!!

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