But again as i said, i did it. I actually went inside and ate at an IHOP twice. And when i think about it the crazy thing is the first time i went back was on thanksgiving with the same people i'd went with when I mc xavien. My sis, my mom and my grandma and an extra edition this time my niece lexxi. I meant to blog about this a long time ago but don't know why i didn't . Anywho, i actually stepped foot on the property without breaking down into a blubbering mess. When my grandma asked me if i wanted to go my eyes didn't well up with tears. I took a deep breath before i entered but the feeling of gloom and not being able to breath didn't come. i actually had a good time. I smiled and I talked and I ate.
And a about a week or two ago, I did it again. Only this time it was with my SIL. Again there was no heaviness, no panick, no fear. I was just okay. I was fine, I was........................at peace and i actually had a good time. Yes i still think about the events of that day in nov of 09 and i forever will , but i can smile in knowing that i'm still going i'm still moving, i'm still living and of course
Loving My Angels.
God is Good!
7 comments:
Oh honey, what a milestone in this process. You faced a huge fear and triumphed! That is wonderful. It's that fighting, faithful SPIRIT that you have!
So happy to hear this
Love to you
xxxx
Yeah!!! *high five*
Jamie
I just read your IHOP post and can see how this brings to you a whole world of bad memories. I am glad you are still living and moving, but I can only imagine how hard this all is. You an amazingly strong woman. I am in awe of you.
Isn't it funny when just eating at a restaurant that brings up terrible memories is a huge accomplishment? My restaurant is Cold Stone Creamery. That is the place that my miscarriage with my first child started..it ended on the airplane home after our vacation..I have been able to ride an airplane (not in the first trimester though and not without anxiety), but it took me a while to eat at Cold Stone..still haven't eaten in one..had to be outside at a different location..I will get there..You are so strong..Good for you!! I really believe that God has good things planned for you!!
Huge steps!!! Huge steps in healing and moving forward!!! I'm so happy and so proud of you! I love you so very much and am here cheering for you!!!
Way to go! After all the pain and loss you've suffered, there's no reason to lose out on delicious pancakes, too!
This is so wonderful to read Shandrea. I'm proud of you.
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