So today AF has appeared. I wish I could say that I am okay with that, but truth be told, i'm a little bumbed about it. Eventhough I know that this may be a good thing, maybe my body still needs time to heal or maybe this just isn't the time for me. But I am still a little sad about it. I want to cry but the tears won't come, I want to shrug it off but I can't do that either. But one thing i do know is that a prayer has been answered. I talked to God and told him that yes i'd like a BFP but if it's not the time then it's not the time. Yes I'd be a bit sad, (and i'm actually a little more down than i thought i'd be) but I wanted it to be in his timing. So I've gotten my answer. Which when i think about it may very well be the best one. Hubby and I talked the other morning and he let me know that he is still hurting, he still feels some sadness and just plain old wants his son back. He doesn't want to go through that heartbreak again. Yes he still wants children but he is still hurt over this past year and a half. He told me that each time he has lost a piece of himself. So in typing this and seeing what was actually said, maybe it just isn't the time for us yet. So I am yet again in the waiting room, holding to hope and as marie says an "expected end"
Loving My Angels