3 Years In Heaven

Today is a wonderful yet bittersweet day. Today marks 3 years in heaven for my sweet boy, my firstborn Camron. But today also marks one month for my rainbow, my baby boy ( in every since of the word, he has 3 siblings that came before looking down on him) Jace. It's amazing how in the beginning days and even the weeks after I look at jace and think of all the things Cam would have been. I wonder if he would have looked the same a J or if he would learn as fast as J. I think about how much I love him even though I had to say good bye to him and I think about how much more in love I would be with him today had he made it. But the one think I do know he was my first born. The one who showed me what it was like to fall in love in a way that I never knew existed. He taught me true compassion, he taught me that everyone has a story, I may not know or can relate but there is a story. He taught me to be more kind, to love deeper, to see the joy in the little things. He taught me how precious life truly is no matter when it begins or ends. But it is all precious. And today as I smile at my Jace I will be thinking of him. I will be thanking him, for looking after his little brother. Jace smiles a lot in his sleep and it leaves me wondering if he's seeing angels and if he's seeing his brothers and sister as he sleeps. Through all of this I know for sure ( if i didn't truly know for sure) that one thing is true though I have my miracle here on earth, I will always love and never forget my first miracle that now resides in heaven. Happy Three Years in Heaven my sweet Camron. Though I wish you were here with me I know that you are in the best place you can be. Know that my love for you only grows, that I still remember you and that you matter. To me you matter. You are missed and truly loved no matter what. I Love you !