Friday, September 23, 2011

Appointment #1

So I had my first appointment today with a new ob. I must say I absolutely Love Love Love her! She is so very caring and understanding and informative and listens to me and has a plan for me and just makes me feel confident in her.

The appointment went well I got to see my lil dot. I held my breath for the longest time. I was just so nervous but excited at the same time. But I was so happy to see that all is well and I'm just praying that I can continue to rest in God's peace.

So as of today we are 7wks 1day along.

I have an appointment wednesday with the MFM so hopefully I get to see another pic of my butterbean.

all smiles this way ;O)

Saturday, September 17, 2011


So needless to say Nausea and Fatigue have reared their ugly heads. The spitting is trying to gear but I am doing my best to keep that at bay. So I guess this is a complete turn-a-round from the previous post. But I am still thankful. Thankful that I have this opportunity again. I am still excited and have great expectation in God that he is going to allow me to take this baby home alive and healthy. I also realized that though not conscientiously, i find myself checking my undies or tissue from time to time for any spotting or sign that something is wrong. But never the less I'm still excited.

I have a whole week before my doc appointment which I am admittedly anxious for so that I can see that everything is well and hopefully have even more relief. I think then I may let the cat out of the bag to some people and not just here. hmmmmmmmmmmm not sure yet.

Saturday, September 10, 2011



That's exactly how I feel right now. I just want to burst and tell the world, that yes I'm pregnant (again) (which is what some will probably think) But I am just so excited. I haven't even been to see the doc yet but I just want to tell everybody, and hey, who knows, this may change in the days or weeks to come. But at the very least I want to wait until I have a picture of my little bean before I open my mouth.

It's amazing to me how different this time is from the other times. With Cam, Xavien and Tristen, I was fatigued, nauseous with bloating and sore boobs (sorry if TMI) and who can forget the horrible spitting, from the beginning and I was worried to death about those pregnancies .

This time the only symptoms I have are bloating and sore boobs and I couldn't be more at ease and happy. I do find myself checking below every time i go to the bathroom or feel something funny, which I didn't even notice how much I did ( and still do ) that until the other day.

But for now I'm gonna do my best to hold on to the news until I get a pic of beanie baby b.(and b is for my last name not because I know the sex, I'm only around 4 weeks. )

Monday, September 5, 2011

I P.O.A.S............


So this morning I P.O.A.S and............. saw the most beautiful two pink lines I'd ever want to see. Heck who am I kidding I didn't care what they looked like as a long as I saw them. But I did. Two pink lines yep! and I am so thankful. I almost slipped back into my worrying ways because one line was lighter than the other, but then I told myself I will continue to trust in God and not let one small detail ruin a happy moment for me. So God I give you the glory and I thank you for this moment!


Wow! I went to my primary care doctor today and guess what! again the best two lines I'd ever want to see. So it's official! I have a baby on board. And you know what else? I actually just want to scream it from the roof tops. I'm not worried (at least so far, ask me that again in about 10wks) , I'm ecstatic, I'm at a loss for words I'm THANKFUL! That God has blessed me, (okay I'm being selfish right there), my husband and I.

On another note but the same note, I had to force myself to stop peeing on sticks. Yesterday (yes i just found out yesterday) I peed on three (sorry I keep using the word pee (oops did it again) ). But today only the one at the docs office.

So next step is finding an OB which my family prac doctor recommended for me already. I already have a MFM so at least something is taken care of ;O)

So needless to say I'm all smiles this way ;O)

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Who'd have thunk it!

Who'd have thunk that after two and a half years I would know what it's like to be healed. and I don't mean all the pain and heart ache i have been through has been forgotten. No i mean the simple fact that I can't think about my babies and not break into a million little pieces all over again, that I can actually talk about them and not cry from sadness and hurt, that I can see anther's miracle and blessing and rejoice in what a blessing they have, even if they don't know. That I can feel and hurt with another who has lost her angel but still hold hope in my heart that no matter what or how long that there will be better for her and her family. The sheer fact that I can smile when seeing a belly that I so long to have one day, that I can still hope and dream about a future with children. I am simply amazed. Not just at myself, but at God. I mean I shouldn't be amazed at God, but the sheer fact of what he can do when you really trust him, when you really give your hurt over to him. I'm not saying that it's easy or that I didn't take any steps backwards b/c i did and still do sometimes, but it's amazing how just speaking a word of faith, or getting a word of faith from a friend can just pick you up in those down times. I am just grateful and hopeful that things are getting better. If someone would have told me any of this stuff two and a half years ago, (and some did) that things would get better I probably would have looked at you like you were crazy or just said whatever or just ignored you (which some people I did). But just to be here now is simply amazing. I have no other words for it.

I have been reading many blogs (even though for some reason blogger won't let me comment) and I see that many have gotten BFP's and many are close to giving birth to their rainbows and while I am waiting for my miracle, I am celebrating with all of you, with peace and the comfort that only God can give that I will one day get my rainbow and for that I am thankful.