Who'd have thunk it!

Who'd have thunk that after two and a half years I would know what it's like to be healed. and I don't mean all the pain and heart ache i have been through has been forgotten. No i mean the simple fact that I can't think about my babies and not break into a million little pieces all over again, that I can actually talk about them and not cry from sadness and hurt, that I can see anther's miracle and blessing and rejoice in what a blessing they have, even if they don't know. That I can feel and hurt with another who has lost her angel but still hold hope in my heart that no matter what or how long that there will be better for her and her family. The sheer fact that I can smile when seeing a belly that I so long to have one day, that I can still hope and dream about a future with children. I am simply amazed. Not just at myself, but at God. I mean I shouldn't be amazed at God, but the sheer fact of what he can do when you really trust him, when you really give your hurt over to him. I'm not saying that it's easy or that I didn't take any steps backwards b/c i did and still do sometimes, but it's amazing how just speaking a word of faith, or getting a word of faith from a friend can just pick you up in those down times. I am just grateful and hopeful that things are getting better. If someone would have told me any of this stuff two and a half years ago, (and some did) that things would get better I probably would have looked at you like you were crazy or just said whatever or just ignored you (which some people I did). But just to be here now is simply amazing. I have no other words for it.

I have been reading many blogs (even though for some reason blogger won't let me comment) and I see that many have gotten BFP's and many are close to giving birth to their rainbows and while I am waiting for my miracle, I am celebrating with all of you, with peace and the comfort that only God can give that I will one day get my rainbow and for that I am thankful.