Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Drifting Between

Drifting between hope and............hmmm what's the word............i'll just say finding it hard to hope sometimes. It seems some days, well some moments I am just filled with so much hope, I have so many thoughts and dreams about the futrure about the things to come, and then out of nowhere come the if's , what if's and will it happen's arrive. It all gets very very tiresome sometimes. I don't want the negative but it just sometimes get's sooooooooooo hard to hold on to the positive. I see and read so many stories of hope and evidence that it can happen, but it sometimes leaves thoughts of "will it happen for me" or "when will it happen for me". I truly truly hate feeling this way, but sometimes these feeling just come and it sucks because I truly truly believe that i will get my turn , i guess it's just the waiting that sucks and the thinking that comes along with the waiting, which most of the time starts out with hope but then comes the scaredness to hope b/c i think that sometimes deep down i feel if i expect the worst the good will be that much better. geesh who knows?

Philippians6-7 says
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

This scripture i seem to cling to with my very being. I pray to God everyday, I thank him for all that i ask and yes he does bring me peace, but again sometimes the thoughts creep in and i'm back in the middle not only drifting between but sometimes stuck between. and i wish i had a better word for the opposite of hope that i'm feeling. I don't want to use fear, b/c that's not it, it's I guess just maybe a kind of uncertainty about what's next. I don't know. I can say that i have been taking steps forward in order to have that future that i so hope for and i will post about it soon, but for now i will end my rambling for today and do my best to push more toward hope.

Loving My Angels


Marie W said...

I love this scripture. Hope seems to be fleeting for us BLM. But we cling earnestly to the little that we do have. Keeping you in prayer my friend and I am praying that all goes well this week.

Brie said...

I hear you Shandrea...I struggle with holding onto hope when what I want so bad seems to be at a standstill..and I wonder if I do in fact get pregnant again, if it will all end in heartbreak again? I have to remind myself that this situation I (we) are in, is not in our control. Hold onto the hope and remind yourself that good things do happen to good people.

Kara said...

Thought I would share this verse that someone else shared with me once. I'm not sure what version it comes from, but I love what it says:

"I would have lost heart, unless I had believed; That I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage; and He shall strengthen you heart. Wait, I say on the LORD!" Psalm 27:13 & 14

mrsnice777 said...

I love that verse that you posted and the one that Kara posted in her comment!

Here's to hope, my dear friend!!!! I have a feeling your rainbow baby is coming soon! Praying for it!


Antoinette said...

<3 HoPE.....that is something I feel like I have one day and that can change by the afternoon...YOU my friend give me HoPE in your words oxxoxo

Shandrea said...

Thank You Kara for that verse ;O) i will have to post that on my computer and fridge and mirror. Thank you all for your words and case you read this thank you to my angel on earth for the talk today ;O) (you know who you are)

Lori said...

Sending you love, love and more love!!!!

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