Thursday, December 2, 2010

2 B's

The two B's. Baby talk and Baby showers. hmmmmmmmmm where to begin..........i guess i will start with baby talk. Sometimes i think that i've put on such a good face around others that they think that it doesn't bother me at all. Now i will admit that yes i can hear some for a certain amount of time, but it just seems like lately everyone wants to pull out pictures of babies or talk about the sheer adorableness of babies, and yes i like to hope and reminisce from time to time, but.... there are times that no i may not be in a place to handle it. And as i said, maybe i've just put on too good a face lately, and even i will admit that yes at times i've said aloud my hopes for the future and have even been able to point out cute things that i hope to purchase and maybe i've done such a good job at being optimistic that i've fooled even myself! ha! but perhaps i will never know. but enough of random ramblings on this subject on to the next B (ha ha almost seems like i'm cursing (he he) )

Baby Showers! Yes, I know that there are some of you out there with rainbows who struggle with the decision on when to have one or if you will even have one at all. Such a hard and scary decision. And even now i wonder to myself if i ever will, and then there's a part of me that know I definately will! it may not be until my 31 or 36th week, but should i get my rainbow i know deep down that yes I will have one. Then there's the other some of us who struggle with if we can handle going to a baby shower. I have been invited to a couple within november and i have sort of just brushed them to the back of my mind, but here it is december and they are fast approaching and they are back at the forefront, so the now question is what to do, what to say, how to decline. I've talked (well texted) to one friend and told her that maybe i could just help decorate and probably not stay for the shower or I'd bring my gift before it got started (hey shopping for a gift is a step in itself) and i am thankful that she understands and I guess i could say the same to the other friend hmmmmmmmmmmmmm we shall see. How do you deal with the 2 B's.

Loving My Angels


cgd said...

I think your plan sounds great. You can always just "get sick" but I prefer to let a close know what is going on so they know that this has nothing to do with how I feel about them. I find that most of my friends understand.
I am wishing you lots of non-baby conversations....

Antoinette said...

I dont do #1B very well with anyone in real life, all at least with a non-blm. I avoid it at ALL costs. They just cant relate to me and so i feel we have nothing to share. I pray and hope for all rainbows, but i can really only do the baby talk with those of my closest friends. ITs just what works for me. im not a phony person so its impossible for me to 'act' like it doesnt bother me with a non-blm.

I dont do #2B either lol....Alyssa passed away 2 weeks after hers and I just cant do them. Its just a personal life decision I have made, to be honest im not really 'girlie' and never liked them to begin with. my sister n cousin forced the party on me but i wanted to have a 'when she is out party'...i guess i am thankful she had A party at all in the long run. As for other people IRL that have them and invite me, i wont attend and at some point im sure they will be offended but their 15 minutes of being offended is fine by me cause its better then 1week in bed crying. Buying a gift IS a step all on its i have yet to complete for anyone.

I would say that you will do and know what is best for you. Love you and hope you make a choice that will be good for you oxoxo

Angie H said...

Hi Shandrea

To be honnest , I avoid the to B:s at all costs .
ITs enough that I have to face 3 pregnant coworkers every day .
It is already 4 months since my second loss but I am not in a state yet where I can face newborn babies.
I hope one day I will be ok with it but Im not there yet .
I think its a great idea that you help the person with the decorations or bring a gift before the event .Thats very good as buying the gift is hard too.

LOVE Angie

Andrea said...

Sweetest Grace,

First things first, you WILL get your RAINBOW and are on your way to seeing all that it brings, as I BELIEVE with all my heart.

I'm so sorry you are faced with baby babble and with showers. Even an invite to a shower reduced me to tears...and the baby babble, oh dear, it was so hard to endure and would leave me in a funk for days.

Now that things are different, I still don't want to go baby shopping, buy baby items or talk baby talk. I can't think about a shower and have politely declined several offers. I'm sure I will cave in eventually, but right now I am just living in the moment. What you are experiencing hurts me to think about and please know that I'm sending over love and continued prayers. You are such a kind and gentle spirit honey and the world is brighter by your existence :)

Much Love to you and I'm cheering you on to's just moments away :)

Holly said...

The 2 B's always seem a little easier when dealing with a BLM because you know they've been there and understand. I still haven't been to a baby shower yet. I think I have been invited to 2 and it kinda worked out that I was scheduled to work both weekends of them so I didn't have to make the decision on whether to attend or not thank goodness.

Annie said...

I also avoid the 2 B's. Your self-preservation should be priority one, and I'm sure that anyone who knows just how much you've been through wouldn't fault you for a moment for avoiding showers and baby chit-chat. My strategy for showers is to not go, but send a gift. I always give books because the bookstore is not a sad place for me to go and every kid should have a library of great books!

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