Last night in our online bible study we had a few questions on comfort, one of them being
How would you like to be comforted now? To which i replied "i want the the tears to stop, I just want understanding, a peace in my heart about my babies. I'm tired of crying , just tired of the tears." A little after our session that night i realized that i kind of sound petty ( well maybe not petty but i can't think of the word i really want to use) or selfish. Which is so not how i'm trying to be. I understand that crying is a way of healing, or a way leading to comfort, but my answer last night was coming from a place that i can't really explain. It's not that i want to forget my experience at all but i had been crying on and off all week and just sometimes i get to a point to where i feel like i just can't bare it anymore, so the only thing i can do is cry out to god to help me, even if the relief is only temporary, but just for that moment i need them to stop. And majority of the time when i ask him he helps me. So i just want to take this time to say that i am thankful and ever so grateful to god for all that he has done for me on this journey, for the people he has allowed in my life and for the times that he has comforted me.
I just had to get this out b/c sometimes i do better writting my feelings than i do trying to explain them out loud, don't know why , i've always been this way but i just am.
Loving Camron and Xavien.
Thankful for poop on the floor!
4 weeks ago