Wednesday, April 14, 2010

1 Year

It's hard to believe that today marks one year with out you.

One year since I held you.

One year since I've looked upon your sweet face.

One year since I said goodbye but never really saying it.

One year since you changed my life.

One year since I learned how much I could love one tiny soul so much.

One year since you've gone to heaven.

One year of holding on.

Holding on to how it felt to hold you.

Holding on to how much you looked more like me than your dad.

Holding on to the feeling of how it felt to Love someone more than I thought I ever could.

Holding on to this new me that I'd have never know had I not known you.

Holding on to the fact that though you're not here I could never really say goodbye.

Holding on the compassion that you have taught me.

Holding on to bittersweet memories of you.

It's hard to believe that it's been a year already. Sometimes it feels like yesterday. I love you more that words could ever describe and though this day a year ago was one of the hardest days in my life, I don't want to forget it. It has taught me so much , (even though it was hard to see in the beginning). I am stronger, I love deeper, I have compassion for others. I understand how valuable life is.

Though I only held you for a moment, I will hold you in my heart forever.

Mommy Loves you Camron Jaiden.

Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

I may never understand why you had to go, but I will trust God and believe that this will all work out for the good.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end.


klarsen said...

Love you, Shandrea. Remembering sweet Camron with you. xxx

Andrea said...

Shandrea, I'm thinking of you and your family today. Sending you love and hugs XOXO

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you and your sweet baby.


Tina said...

Thinking of you and your sweet Camron today. xx

Kristie said...

Shandrea, just thinking of you today, praying for your peace and comfort to flood over you from the Lord's throne. Love to you, and to your sweet babies...

Karin said...

Shandrea, I'm thinking about you today and praying for you. The time goes so slowly and quickly all at once. I'm right there with you.

Karen said...

Oh, Shandrea....what beautiful words you wrote! I am thinking of you today and your precious Camron. I pray God cushions your heart today and brings you a peace that surpasses all understanding. Love you!!!

Marie W said...

Thinking of you Shandrea.

Lori said...

Oh sweet friend...I'm sorry I missed this--it has been such a crazy week and I miss catching up on all my girls!! I'm still wrapping my arms around you and loving you and thinking about the wonderful reunion one day...and I can't wait to meet your precious little ones!
Much love!!!! xoxo

Nan & Mike said...

Just sending you more love. I hope you did something just for you and hubby that day. I hope you got your little something in the mail too. Much love, Nan xxxooo

Shandrea said...

Thank you all for thinking of me and my angels. Yes Nan i got your package and I love it. Will try to post it soon. Hugs and Love to you all. I wish you could all feel how much your words mean to me.

Andrea said...

Sweet Friend,

Continuing to "honor" sweet Camron, on his Heaven Day.

Beautiful words sweet little boy knows how much you love him :)

Lifting you up,

Holly said...


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