So what do you do when your mind and heart are full of so many things and you need to get them out but the words don't come. As you sit full of emotion but no way to express them. No crying, no laughter, no sadness, no anger, no joy , no smiles and all of these things at once. You take advice of some loving people and you "just try".
This is how I'm feeling tonight, this is how I've felt for the past couple of days. So many things I feel like are wrong in my life, but yet there are so many things right that I am most certainly thankful for. But then there are times like this when I don't know what to do with all of these emotions. Where I at times question my "choice" to be happy because I sometimes feel like I'm just pushing things that upset me down into a corner somewhere until its too much to hold. But that can't be, because it's not always like this. Today is just a rare day ( that sometimes happens to often) and I maybe wonder if it's a good thing, because maybe what I "feel " I want to express isn't what I need. Maybe I should ( well I know I should) take time out and just pray. Because like writing prayer gives me the release and sometimes (if I'm still long enough and listen ) He will answer back. And well for me there's nothing to compare to release and revelation and even as I write this now I know that the emotional me wants to be sad and throw myself a pity party when over these past few things I know and have seen that things could be worse, Over these past few days I've been encouraged by the strength of those that are going through their own personal struggles and issues and deep down I know that things could be worse. So I will sit and think on that and be thankful that they are not, I will sit and pray blessings over and for those who are struggling right now, I will pray for those who need comfort and I will thank Him that He hears me and will answer
I am thankful that He hears my heart, He hears my cries and that He even hears what I don't say out loud. And though this may seem like babbling I will end this post with a praise because My God is Awesome!