If a stranger were to see me today holding this beautiful baby boy in my arms while he looks up at me with smiles and giggles they would have no idea that two years ago today was a very different story. Instead of warmth laughter and joy there were tears heartache and sorrow. Because after three days of trying to hold on my body finally failed me, let go and I had to say goodbye to my third angel. To years ago my baby boy Tristen was born into heaven. And today I miss him terribly. My heart is heavy as look at my youngest baby boy and wonder how much he would resemble you and your siblings in heaven. I sit sometimes and wish that I could have you all hear with me. Though you are far away you are yet so close because I will hold you in my heart forever. No matter who forgets I will remember that I have three boys and one daughter, and today Tristen I remember you and how I loved you when I first knew about you, how much more I loved you when I felt you move and how far in love grew when I first saw your tiny body and how I love you even the more as I think of you today.